December 11, 2016
Filed under Haywire Advice
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Dear Farmer, I am a sixteen year old girl who has been in the closet for most of my life. My parents are homophobic, but I was thinking of coming out to them. Most of my friends know that I am bisexual, but I really want to tell my parents. What should I do?
First of all, I feel for your situation and hope that things get better soon. I myself have been in the same place that you are now, and can tell you from experience that it will get better. Coming out can be super hard, especially with homophobic parents. When I first told my parents that I was bisexual, they freaked out on me, and for the longest time, they refused to talk to me about it, but over time they became more accepting of who I was, and eventually learned to accept me.
This may happen to you at the beginning, but your parents will learn to be accepting, and support you; however, if they refuse to acknowledge you–and choose to remain ignorant to the world around them, there are many LGBTQ support groups in the area–there’s even one at Hayward High, where you can meet people going through the exact same thing as you are. Once you enable yourself to this, you will meet loads of people who will show you acceptance and won’t try to change you.
Your sexuality doesn’t define who you are as a person; it is merely something that is a part of you and unites you with an amazingly diverse community of people that will show you massive amounts of love and support. Don’t feel isolated because you are not alone. Surround yourself with people who will love and accept you for who you are, and ignore those who put you down. Those kinds of people will only make you doubt yourself and make you feel like you don’t belong. Remember, they only dwell on your sadness, so don’t give them that satisfaction. Best of luck, and remember, use your resources!